My Mom forgets who I am

The calendar has flipped to a new month since I last posted. Life passes me by. The sun keeps shining. And yet, my life feels like it's at a standstill.

Along with my own struggles, I'm trying to help my aging parents deal with theirs. My Mom has Alzheimers and it feels like I've already lost her just as much as if death has taken her. I mourn the Mom I knew and loved who knew me and loved me. She is a mere shell of herself and I can only imagine the fear and suffering she must be feeling. I cry just thinking about how scared she must be.

My father is struggling to deal with this cruel illness that has afflicted his wife of 53 years. So it's up to me and my siblings to step in and try and make sure she's getting the care she needs -- things as simple as taking her medication, which she refuses to take because she doesn't believe she is sick.

Yes, I am one of the growing sandwich generation where adults are still raising their own children and also caring for their elderly parents. There's a wonderful book called The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. She shares her struggles of raising children while battling her own cancer and dealing with her sick father. Her memoir told of the day-to-day challenges of being in that middle place sandwiched between caring for your children and your aging parents while you also struggle with your own problems.

Oh, unfortunately, how I can relate. I'm raising 3 teenagers, struggling with depression and chronic pain, going through a divorce after 23 years of marriage, and taking care of my aging parents, one who has Alzheimers. Stick a fork in me -- I'm done. But I can't be done. I can't fall apart. So I take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. And I remind myself that the sun keeps shining.